It is assumed that one of the family dogs, the oldest in regards to age but the smallest in size, has a tumor. This comes from my mother who recently noticed a large growth on the dogs neck which has become some sort of a wound. To add to this my grandmother, who was recently admitted to the hospital for being close to death and has no knee in her right leg, and both verbally and legally shown her willingness for death, has fallen out of bed and received a large bruise on half of her face. According to my father during the discussion with the nurses about how a woman who can barely move and has no knee was able to get out of bed, my uncle appalled at their excuses had the oldest nurse shaking in fear. It is a constant downward slope these days. 

Not to mention the fact that the one person who I would like to talk to, in hopes of raising my spirits, no longer wishes to talk but to remain friends. For those who don’t know, mainly due to my neglect to blog this part of my life. She was the girl I had met from Iowa. I met her through a mutual friend. The chances of us talking and ending up as close as we have is merely a shot in the dark so it is with heavy sorrow that I have watched it fall to pieces. At a point in time we agreed that we were in fact, dating. Spending every night skyping for hours. But never to be placed in the public eye, like through Facebook. She did not want to have to put it on Facebook, which I’m sure some of you now are either questioning as to why or reading this questioning why it matters. It matted to me because it brought up question as to her level of commitment. She had nothing to hide from her friends. Was it because of her long lost ex? I honestly don’t think I’ll ever fully understand. Either, from my point of view, she lied to me or to someone else. After confronting her on the subject, the night after she refused to answer her phone either by text or call, but had it answered by a guy. She told me she was at a youth gathering at her church, and I believe her but she doesn’t know what he said to me…or at least I hope she didn’t. But after confronting her on that and on the other few issues very similar, like her not telling me she would be going to stay at another guys house. Apparently her friends where she is from are close like that, and it doesn’t mean anything. That is not the full story so it isn’t as bad as it seems, I was confused that she didn’t bother telling me. She told me she wasn’t fully committed to the relationship, she is afraid of being in a relationship and would like to learn to be happy without a guy in her life. I honestly can say that besides the nightly conversations, there was very few moments where I can say I was fairly conflicting with her schedule or on her mind. It was my responsibility to begin all the conversations, if we hadn’t spoken all day I would hopefully get a text by night, there were some days when we would go without texting. So we agreed to place our relationship on hold. But after about a month she said she had lost all feeling for me. I honestly don’t understand how someone with so much faith could lose affection so easily.

I did not understand how to handle to situation and was in fear of my own state of being, I had made it through finals which I had the day after she “broke up” with me. From this I decided to take the advice that I had always forsaken, which was to cut her off and to remove her from my mind and state of being. I felt that maybe she would have gained some compassion on the situation and so I returned to her after a dream in which she appeared. And as fate would have it she decided to push me away now of all times. She believes that if it is meant to be than our paths will cross again or she will call me sometime when I cross her mind some day. I honestly don’t believe that she will do either of these because that wouldn’t be fate as much as her making an attempt. She lives in one state and goes to school in another none of which are even close to me, and I would not make a trip to either of those places unless it would be to see her. If fate is what is needed to bring it all back, why would fate need to do it twice? If once wasn’t enough for her why or even how would she recognize a second? Is it not fate that I need her now and she refuses to open up to me? Is this not a sign to me? I will take it as if it was. So this is our current position, we talk…but nothing worth while. She has not made any attempt. She did add my blog. But it is clear to me she is preparing for a long time of not talking otherwise you wouldn’t need to read about my life. To be friends is a luxury we cannot afford. One of us wants it to work and the other wants it to end. I feel somewhat better getting this on here. I have spent time thinking about what might have been and half of the time thinking just as well. I guess only time will tell. 

So recently I’ve started to listen to old tunes I haven’t heard since middle school. I don’t think many people listen to Harry Chapin since most of his best hits were done before a lot of you were born. He was a humanitarian and created an organization to help feed the hungry all around the world. he wrote some strong pieces of music that have a lot of touching subjects ranging from the homeless (Corey’s Coming)to a child growing up with his father always away at work (Cat’s in the cradle). One of my favorites is W.O.L.D. which is the title for a radio show. Here’s the lyrics, I hope you find them interesting(they read like a letter):

Hello Honey, it’s me What did you think when you heard me back on the radio? What did the kids say when they knew it was their long lost daddy-o? Remember how we listened to the radio And I said `That’s the place for me’ And how I got the job as an FM Jock the day you married me? We were two kids and I was was into AM rock But I just had to run around It’s been eight years since I left you babe Let me tell you ‘bout what’s gone down I am the morning DJ on W*O*L*D Playing all the hits for you wherever you may be The bright good-morning voice who’s heard but never seen Feeling all of forty-five going on fifteen The drinking I did on my last big gig made my voice go low They said that they liked the younger sound when they let me go So I drifted on down to Tulsa, Oklahoma to do me a late night talk show Now I worked my way back home again, via Boise, Idhao That’s how this business goes I’ve been making extra money playing high school sock hops I’m a big time guest MC You should hear me talking to the little children And listen what they say to me Got a spot on the top of my head, begging for a new toupee And a tire on my gut from sitting on my But they’re never gonna go away Sometimes I get this crazy dream That I just drive off in my car But you can travel on ten thousand miles and still say where you are I’ve been thinking that I should quit disk jockeying And start that record store Maybe I could settle down if you’ld take me back once more OK Honey, I see I guess he’s better than me Sure, Old Girl, I understand You don’t have to worry, I’m such a happy man W*O*L*D, W*O*L*D, W*O*L, W*O*L, W*O*L*D*D*D I am the morning DJ on K*H*J Playing all the hits for you Playing them night and day The bright good morning voice who’s heard but never seen Feeling all of forty-five, going on fifteen I am the morning DJ on W*O*L*D

scipsy:

In the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen, in the remote Arctic Svalbard archipelago, about 1,300 kilometres from the North Pole there is the Svalbard Global Seed Vault (Svalbard globale frøhvelv) the most secure seedbank of the world. The Svalbard Global Seed Vault is designed to preserve the genetic diversity of the world’s food crops, an essential part of the work of preserving the world’s biodiversity.

The Seed Vault has the capacity to store 4,5 million different seed samples and each of these can contain on average 500 seeds, so a maximum of 2,25 billion seeds may be stored in Svalbard. When in full use it will be the world’s largest collection of seeds.

The seedban is constructed 120 metres inside a sandstone mountain. Svalbard is a unique location that was chosen because it has very specific features. It has perfect climate and geology for underground cold storage. Because of the permafrost, the temperature will never rise above minus 3,5 Celsius. The sandstone at Svalbard is stable to build in (its lacks of tectonic activity) and low in radiation. The seeds are stored and conserved in a frozen state at -18°C.

The vault could preserve seeds from most major food crops for hundreds of years. and some, including those of important grains, could survive for  thousands of years.

newyorker:

For the first post in a series where we ask New Yorker writers what book they have revisited most often, Maile Meloy writes on J.D. Salinger’s, “Nine Stories”: http://nyr.kr/Lb0Yza

I’m doing alright. This past semester was pretty crazy and I had a lot to do both socially and scholarly. I received decent marks in all my classes and made friends that’ll I’ll never forget. My international roommates have moved back to their respective countries and I have been coping with the change. I forged an interesting relationship with a girl in Iowa, she changed my views on a lot of things. She still has a lot of work she wants to do on her self and I respect that…I’ve just had a hard time dealing with it. I’m back home now for the summer and it has been less than glamorous. I’ve been working two days a week from 8am to 4:30pm. Since most of my friends from high school have either moved or obtained full time jobs, it has become very hard to see anyone. I often find myself bored with nothing to do and so I spend most of my time sleeping. On the family side not much has changed, the cleaning and modernization fever has spread amongst other people in my family so cleaning and organizing has become routine. I have yet to sort through my boxes of things from college. I’m also consistently pressured into finding a second job to help pay bills from college. This is probably due to the impending destruction that my uncle has caused to my grandparents and the rest of the family. The trial is still pending but once it hits the court I’m sure it will become far more public. My grandmother is in and out of the hospital on a daily basis, I fear the worse as time goes by, and each case gets worse as well. To say the least I am not pleased with the way things have been going but you always make due with what you are given. I hold hope for the future. Since you asked this anonymously I would like it if you could message me if you would like to talk more in depth or would like to ask questions.